Hansel and Gretel

Hansel and Gretel lived in a little house on the edge of a village with their mother and father. They lived a happy life together. But one day, their mother died. It was terribly sad. Their father tried to be strong for them, but they could tell that it was hurting him. So when he began seeing someone new, even though they still missed their mother, they were happy for him.

“Do you think they’ll get married?” said Hansel. He stood atop a footstool on his tiptoes and peered through the window at their father and this strange new woman.

“I don’t know Hansel.” said Gretel, “They only just met a week or two ago.”

“Do you think she’ll tell us stories?” said Hansel, “Oh! Here they come!” Hansel jumped down from the footstool and ran to the door as their Father and the Woman entered.

“Children! We have excellent news for you!” boomed their Father’s warm voice, “We’re getting married!”

“Hooray!” exclaimed Hansel.

“What? Seriously?” said Gretel. She looked in disbelief between her Father and the woman whose name she didn’t even know. The woman glared at her and she dropped her gaze to the ground. “Hooray.” said Gretel.

“We’ll have a big dinner to celebrate!” said their father, and they did! They had a huge dinner!

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“Oh isn’t she wonderful, Gretel?” said Hansel after their father tucked them in that night.

“Uh yeah, I guess,” said Gretel. “Didn’t it bother you how she was glaring at us all night?”

“And she’s so pretty!” said Hansel, “I’m so glad for father.”

“Yeah,” said Gretel, “I hope he’s happy.”

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But he wasn’t.

That night, their father saw their new stepmother mixing a poison, and fearing for his children's lives, stole into their room in the dead of night.

“Hansel, Gretel, wake up,” their Father said. “We must away into the forest.”

“Dad, it’s like, three in the morning,” said Gretel crossly.

“Shush my dear,” said their father. “All will be made clear in time. For now just get dressed quietly and come outside.”

Trusting in their father, Hansel and Gretel did as they were told. It was a warm summer night but they grabbed their jackets anyway.

Their father stood outside with a large burlap sack swung over his shoulder.

“Follow me children, we must leave quickly,” he whispered.

“I’m scared father,” said Hansel. “Why are we leaving?”

“Your stepmother plans to kill you both. You must get away from here!” said their father.

“She what?!” said Gretel, then to Hansel: “I told you it was weird that she was glaring at us like that!”

“Come on children,” said their father.

“Wait, where are we going?” said Gretel.

“Into the forest.”

“Into the--? what?!” said Gretel. “It’s pretty dangerous in there wouldn’t you say?”

“Come on kids, we can do this the easy way or the hard way,” said their father.

“Let’s think about this rationally for a second.” said Gretel.

“Hard way it is then.” said their father, and he stuffed the both of them into his burlap bag and took off into the forest.

“I have a plan, Gretel.” said Hansel as they bounced around in the bag.

“Could you try to stop kneeing me in the ribs, Hansel.” said Gretel.

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After what seemed like hours of bouncing around, the bag containing the siblings was dropped somewhere in the forest.

“I’m sorry children! You’ll be safer here!” said their father. “Don’t follow me!”

“This forest isn’t safe at all! At least open the bag!” called Gretel after her father’s fading footfalls. “Ugh, Hansel help me get this bag open.”

After a few minutes of fumbling they tumbled out of the bag onto the damp forest floor.

“Oh! it’s all muddy,” said Hansel. “Be careful Gretel, you wouldn’t want to get your dress dirty.”

“That’s what you’re worried about?” said Gretel. “Shouldn’t we be worried about how to get out of here?”

“Oh, worry not dear sister,” Hansel grinned. “For as father ran, I dropped a trail of breadcrumbs through a small hole in the bag so that we might find our way out of this dark wood.”

Gretel silently contemplated her brother.

“That was your plan?” she said. “We’re in a forest!”

“Exactly! So we need a trail to get out,” said Hansel.

Gretel stared at Hansel.

“Do you know how many little critters there are in this forest?”

“I... oh,” said Hansel.

“Yeah,” said Gretel. “Your trail got eaten within twenty seconds of you dropping it.”

Hansel looked at the ground.

“Jesus Christ. It’s a good thing my phone has GPS,” said Gretel. Then, “Why did you even have all those breadcrumbs anyway?”

“I thought it was a good plan,” mumbled Hansel.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“Yeah alright.” Gretel pulled out her phone. “By the power of Google Maps, the village is... that way.”

So they set off back through the forest, their path lit by the digital glow of Gretel’s smartphone.

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After a time, they arrived at a clearing with a pile of bones and a little house made of candy in it.

“Oh my goodness!” Hansel squealed, “A house made of candy!”

“Not gonna comment on the pile of bones?” said Gretel, “Hey, wait; don’t eat it!”

But Hansel had already bit off a piece of gingerbread fence.

“Bleah!” Hansel spat out the fence, “That’s disgusting!”

“It’s been sitting outside for who knows how long!” exclaimed Gretel, “What did you expect?”

“For it to taste like gingerbread I guess.” said Hansel.

“Eh. Gingerbread is pretty gross even when it hasn’t been sitting outside.” said Gretel, “Anyway, who builds a house out of candy anyway? This place creeps me out.”

“Let’s go knock on the door!” said Hansel as he bolted through the gate.

“I- No wait!” called Gretel. Too late though: her brother was already banging on the door.

Gretel followed her brother through the gate. As she reached the first step of the porch the door opened, revealing a gnarled old woman.

“EHEHE hello my pretties!” cackled the old woman, “Would you like to come in? I have some candy for you!”

“Oh man would I!” said Hansel. “I love candy!”

Gretel grabbed Hansel’s sleeve before he could run inside.

“Uh, no we would not like to come in. No offence.” said Gretel, “You’ve got a house made of candy in the middle of the woods, and a pile of what looks like human bones in your front yard.”

“Hey! You shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, Gretel!” said Hansel.

“No, she’s obviously a witch or something,” said Gretel.

“So you’ve discovered my secret!” screeched the witch, “I was planning on fattening you up before eating you, but I suppose I can just eat you right now!”

With that she swooped down and grabbed the children by their collars.

“Ah! Let go of me!” cried Hansel.

“Fuck off!” yelled Gretel, and punched her in the nose.

The witch dropped the children.

“OW!” said the witch, clutching her face “You little brat! I think you broke my nose!”

“Run, Hansel!” said Gretel, and they sprinted off into the woods.

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“I don’t think she’s following us.” panted Hansel.

“Let’s not risk it!” said Gretel, “Plus we’re almost back to the village. Just a little more.”

“I can’t wait to get back to my own bed!” said Hansel.

“Same.” said Gretel, “But our house isn’t going to be our first stop.”

“Why not?” said Hansel.

“Murderous stepmother?”

“Oh, right.” said Hansel, “Then where are we going?”

“The police.” said Gretel.

Loji III

“WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING?!”

Loji bolted awake, fell out of his tree and landed face first at the feet of a laughing Tiff.

“Oh hi Tiff, you startled me.” he hopped to his feet, “What are you doing here?”

“Your fox said you wanted to see me,” said Tiff, “But if you’ve changed your mind it’s getting late and I do have a meeting to be at pretty soon.”

Over Tiff’s shoulder Loji saw a smug looking fox wink at him before disappearing into some bush or something.

“Ah, um, no no, stay!” he said, Curse that fox, I said ‘check up on things,’ how could you do this to me? “So um, have you heard the news?”

“I heard you almost got your head ripped off by Ada for sleeping too much.” said Tiff, Loji looked at the ground. “Oh it’s alright,” Tiff laughed again, “Ada’s just anxious because of this stuff with Talc. You’re no lazier than the rest of us. I probably sleep just as much as you.”

“Really?” said Loji, “Well hey, you should come sleep with me sometime--ah...”

Loji felt the sudden urge to die.

Tiff raised an eyebrow.

“Oh damn it.” he stammered, “That’s not what I meant at all.”

“Mmhm” Tiff smirked at him. “Maybe I should.”

He opened his mouth to speak twice, not quite managing it either time. Tiff smirked even harder.

“Well I’m off to that meeting then.” she said before prancing off, “Bye! Have fun playing lookout!” Her melodious laugh faded into the distance. She was the worst... and the best. He couldn’t quite decide.

His daydreaming was interrupted by Chee landing atop his head.

“It’s occurred to me that you seem awfully calm about this whole thing.” said Chee “Don’t you have things you’re supposed to be doing? Isn’t this a big deal?”

“Well, not really.” Loji said, “It’s only a crush.”

“I’m talking about Talc being corrupted.”

“Oh.”

“Well I guess that reaction was an answer in itself.” said Chee, “Have you been hit in the head recently?”

“Rude.”said Loji, “But you and Tiff reminded me, I am supposed to be looking out.” He hopped back up the branches of his tree and cupped his hand on his brow in an exaggerated lookout pose.

“But really though, aren’t you worried?”

“I should be asking you that Chee.” said Loji, “All your neighbors and your family have had their life force absorbed by a corrupted dryad. Shouldn’t you be more worried?”

“Unlike you, I have reasons justifying my lack of extreme concern: I was new to the grove and mostly kept to myself,” said Chee, “and while my nest was easily the best for miles, it had yet to attract a mate, so I had no family there.”

“Ah so you didn’t have much tying you down?” said Loji.

“Exactly.” said Chee. “So that’s me. Your turn, tell me what you’re thinking.”

“Well,” said Loji, “evidently this isn’t the first time a dryad around here has turned. According to Ada the first time this happened things got way out of hand,” Loji gestured to the burn scar. “and that happened. Plus it’s not as though once someone’s turned we can’t turn them back.”

“Huh, well I would still be pretty worried if I were in your position.” said Chee.

“Eh.” said Loji. Chee regarded him skeptically.

“Dryads are weird.”

“Rude.”

Loji and Chee II

“Chee,” Loji said, “Could you fly over and check on Tiff’s grove for me before the meeting? Even though her heart is pretty out of the way, she and Talc still share a pretty sizable border.”

“I’m tired!” chirped Chee.

“Oh fine.” Loji settled back onto his branch and gazed out across the burn scar. He would’ve gone himself, but he wasn’t too keen on being caught doing anything but keeping an eye on Talc should Ada decide to show up. At the thought of it he could almost hear her hysteric warbling.

“I’ll go!” a voice drifted up from the ground. It was the fox from earlier.

“Ah thanks!” Loji called down. “Just tell her I sent you to check up on things.”

“No problem.” the fox darted off.

Now that that was taken care of, he could get back to being a lookout. He relaxed against the trunk of the tree. It wasn’t worth worrying about, Talc’s heart was only barely corrupted, they had time, plus Ada was taking care of it. Without him, ugh.

Loji sighed and tried to drown his brooding by concentrating on the sound of his grove. He had so many creatures, they all knew him, but there were so many that he could never remember all their names.  He actually once tried to learn their names, starting with the ants. It hadn’t gone well.

No matter. It was calming listening to all that noise, and the late afternoon sun on his face was so relaxing.

Loji closed his eyes.

Loji and Chee

Loji woke to find a lark perched on his forehead yelling about something.

“GET UP GET UP GET UP!” it squeaked.

“What is it friend?” Loji said sleepily. “Hm, you’re not from my grove.”

“GET UP GE-- OH you’re up!” it said excitedly.

“That I am.” he said, “What’s the rumpus?” Now that he looked, the forest did seem to be a little uneasy today.

“Chee’s family! Chee was away! Overnight, Talc turned!” The lark was frothing himself into a panic.

“What?” Talc’s been turned?” Loji sprung to the top of the nearest tree and the lark fluttered up after him.

Indeed, across the burn scar he could see an air of corruption drifting up from the heart of Talc’s grove. He’d heard about this sort of thing. It wasn’t good.

“When did this happen?” he asked the lark.

“Chee doesn’t know!”

“Stop talking about yourself in third person, it’s weird.”

“Che-- ah, sorry.” said Chee, “Ch- I get excited...”

“That’s ok Chee, we all do.” said Loji. “Anyway, what were you saying?”

“Right!” said Chee, “I was out visiting an old friend in another grove overnight, when I came back awhile ago I saw the corruption from afar! I came as fast as I could.”

Down below, a fox poked her head out of a nearby hole, “What’s going on Loji?” she called.

“Talc’s been turned.” he called back.

“Uh-oh.” she climbed out of her den and strode over to the base of their tree. “I heard the corruption burnt out years ago?”

“Uh-oh is right.” said Loji as he drifted back down from the tree, “ And I thought so, but that was before I can remember... looks like I chose a bad day to sleep in.”

“You sleep in every day.” said the fox. Loji ignored her.

“What are we going to do?” said Chee, panic creeping back into his voice.

Loji looked wistfully at that patch of shade where he’d been sleeping peacefully moments before. “I guess we’ll go tell Ada.”

“We?” said Chee, aghast, “Ada scares me. You go.”

Loji laughed, “Come on, it’s your grove we’re telling her about! Plus Ada isn’t that scary, she’d just intense.”

---

Ada is kinda scary, thought Loji as he looked up at the wizened dryad glowering down at him.

He sat cross legged amongst the massive aspens at the heart of Ada’s grove. When he and Chee told her she had first been shocked, but now she was mad they hadn’t told her earlier.

“The moment I found out I flew as fast as I could to Loji.” said Chee.

“I know.” said Ada, “You did what you should have.” Chee let out a bird pitched sigh of relief. “But Loji, Talc’s heart is closest to yours, and you have a clear view because of the burn scar. Why didn’t you notice sooner?”

Loji shrugged.

“He was asleep!” offered Chee.

“Haha, what? You don’t know that...” said Loji, turning to Ada, “He wasn’t even there!”

“I knew it!” said Ada, “Loji, you are laziest dryad I’ve ever heard of.”

“Hey-hey, woah hold on, you’re, uh... pretty old.” said Loji, “You’ve probably heard of a whole bunch of dryads.”

“And you’re the laziest!” snapped Ada.

“Oh.” said Loji.

Ada turned away from them and began pacing between her trees.

“So... what are we gonna do?” asked Loji.

“You’re going to go back to your grove and keep an eye on Talc from afar.” She said. “Even though he won’t make a move yet try not to fall asleep.”

“I-- oh alright.” said Loji. As he stood, Chee, who had been perched on his shoulder, squaked in protest and puffed out his yellow feathered chest.

“Meanwhile I’ll call the others for a meeting this evening.” said Ada.

“You’re having a meeting without me?” said Loji.

“Yes.” said Ada, “Don’t look so indignant.”

“Well then.” said Loji. He turned and, followed by Chee, bounded out of Ada’s heart, trying to look as indignant as he possibly could.